Like Jennifer Hudson in “Dream Girls”…
I am changing.
I just keep wondering if it’s for the best.
I’ve always been that good girl.
That turn in my homework on time,
Do whatever my mama says at the drop of a dime…
I was the girl that had a crush on a boy in 5th grade…
But never said a word.
I was the girl who didn’t raise her hand in class…
Because I was afraid I wouldn’t be heard.
I was that girl…
Until I got to high school.
In 9th grade,
I dropped that “baby fat”… I was looking good.
The boys agreed.
So, I was that girl getting attention.
The girl who was new to this.
I was naïve.
In 10th grade,
I was the girl looking for a change…
But ended up being the same.
I was that girl who was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
In 11th grade,
I was the girl who was gaining popularity…
Even though I didn’t really want it.
I was that girl who won “Winter Formal Queen”…
And didn’t know why.
In 12th grade,
I was the girl that found you…
Although I was never looking.
I was that girl that let her guard down,
To embrace the possibilities of love.
Only to be let down by distance,
With a dash of growth and time.
Neither of us could stop this progression.
They say the only thing constant is change…
Yet two years later…
I am the same girl… with my heart open.
Like India.Arie, “I am ready for love.”
So, I can’t help but wonder if anything has really changed.
Be looking out for more from me.
Video blog when I get out of this meeting.
Peace & Love,