I'm thinking about all the friends I have. Not associates, but real friends. Not the people you hang out with because there is nothing else to do, nor those people that you only say hello to when passing on the quad. I'm talking about the people that you can tell secrets. And just sit in the house all day but still have fun. Reflecting made me see that I've grown closer to the people I've met in college. When I go home, it's awkward with some of those whom I once had close relationships with. Communication with some of the people I grew close to my freshman year has even slowed down.
I feel weird saying the people at home are not on the same page as me BUT I'm beginning to think it's true. We no longer find joy in the same things. Conversations are filled with nothingness. I'd rather stay inside on a Saturday night than go out with them. This past weekend I went on a retreat with some of the 2.3% of black students on my campus. I felt like I could relate to them. There was common ground between each of us. We all have similar goals. I want to believe that some things just change. And people grow apart, I know. I know since August 2008, I have grown a lot. From that shy girl from LA to Ms. Involved. My outlook on life has evolved. I just don't want to have to deal with the criticism that I'm turning my back on the people I grew up with. That's just not how I want things to be.