If It Was My Job, I'd Be Fired.

"Thanks for speaking up when you did" and "I want to work on being as invested in this work as you are," read a couple notes I found in a room that had been through it, piles of clothes, stacks of papers and boxes strewn across the carpeted floor.

I started packing yesterday (because I will be moving at the end of the month). Yes, it is kind of early to be packing but I kind of hoard things and decided to trash a lot of my junk. Believe me, there is a method to my madness. It's a process.

While cleaning things out, I came across a couple bags of affirmations that I have collected over the years as an undergrad that attends every community retreat she gets to the chance to. The affirmations were from people I got to meet or know better during those three-day weekends.

Honestly, reading them almost brought me to tears. I've connected with so many amazing folks since I've lived in my little college town. And it's not over yet. I have a year left to make more connections, some that could potentially last a lifetime. For these relationships to last though, these people have to be comfortable with silence and random bursts of conversation.

If you know me, you know that I am not the most talkative person but if I do have something really interesting to talk about, I could go on for a while. The only way I know how to speak is from my experience so when I speak it's sincere.

I wonder if this is a part of my failure to intentionally motivate folks through speech. It has been brought to my attention that I am not exactly the greatest motivational speaker. If giving people the motivation to complete a task by using words alone was my job, I wouldn't be surprised if I got fired. This is why I will never consider going into that field.

It has also been brought to my attention that I can motivate without really trying and just being myself. While reading my affirmations, I noticed a trend. A lot of folks view me as someone who has it together when I feel like I kind of don't, at all. It's cool that I give that vibe though. It seems that I've inspired folks to take life one day at a time, as I often try to do and to always be genuine in everything they do.

Hoping I can continue to spread the cool as I step mine up. Growth is constant, as is change.