As I drove down El Segundo, I found myself yelling the lyrics to "Love on Top" by Beyoncé at the top of my lungs. I was grooving too. I'm telling you... If my foot was not busy on the gas and brake pedals, I definitely would have broke out into dance. I felt so carefree in that moment.
But before I get into this post, let me give you a look into my life. I'm currently at home in Los Angeles. Most times when I come back, there are tasks that I get assigned that I am not always very excited to take on. Take this morning, I was woken up from my slumber with the sounds of children getting ready for school and their mother (my cousin) yelling at them. Fortunately, I woke up feeling happy and did not get mad. I was then asked to take them to school because my cousin was running late. Usually I would have been like, "WTF" but this morning I gladly accepted.
I figured that while I was out, I'd grab breakfast (from delicious Panera Bread) and pick up a few things from Target, which was down the street from their school. Then I was contacted by my brother who was not feeling well at school. I had to jump through hurdles to take him from school because I am not on the emergency contact list but I was still calm. No wooo-sahs necessary.
Sidenote: I definitely felt like I popped some little ones out today with the way I had to make sure all of them were taken care of. Motherhood is definitely being pushed to 8-10 years from now instead of 6. While I enjoyed today, I'd rather just have to worry about me for now.
My morning did not start off the way I planned it. But then again, it's not about my plan, is it? God is definitely in charge.
For the first time, in a while, I feel both content and at ease – my little cousins have not even been getting on my nerves like they usually do. Yes, there is still a lot of work to be done. I have some growing to do and decisions to make. The last fall quarter of my undergraduate career ended last Friday, which means I am closer to being a "real adult", which my high school calculus teacher already sees me as. At this moment, I don't exactly know what I'm doing after June, what state I will be in or if I will have to move back home.
I am happy I have options though. I am happy I have people in my corner rooting for me. I am happy God has sent me people that have similar mentalities as me. And there are a whole bunch of other things I appreciate in my life.
Ten things I am thankful for, at this very moment:
1. Gas in my tank. I've been driving like crazy since I have been home and I think it's great that I've been able to get gas so that I can make it to all of my destinations.
2. Real conversation. I've been having some interesting, and in some cases low.key breakthrough, conversations as of late. People have been dropping knowledge and fortunately I have been able to give a few words of wisdom as well.
3. Friends. Today a high school friend asked me if I have friends out here (Los Angeles, because we both are not here often). Yes, I have friends out here. I always have but it was not something I always realized. I really feel like this has been the year of (re)connection because I have made some dope friends and got in steady contact with some folks from the past.
4. The ability to read. I've been reading The Conversation by Hill Harper, which my boyfriend bought for us, and it is dope. I think all Black folks should read it. And there are a few other books I am planning to read during this break, along with magazines and articles that I have been putting off.
5. Reflection time. While dealing with academics, work and other life things, I did not really take the time to sit and reflect on life and how I could improve it. With the free time I have had since being outside of my little college town, I've been able to think with a clear mid. You know how I said I don't know exactly what I've doing after graduation... well, I do know what I want to do and that has been fleshed out with both conversations and reflection time.
6. My parents. They are very different from one another but each have and continue to teach me valuable lessons in life. Both have been able to instill values in me, which I wish to pass onto my children.
7. Two years of friendship, love and learning. I have been in a relationship for two years. And it does not feel that long but I have learned a lot about what it really means to be in a relationship, the areas where I need to step my game up how when you really want something, you will make it work. People always talk about how long distance relationships are difficult, especially at such a young age, but I disagree. I think when you find someone you love who shares the same feelings you do while putting in the same effort, it can work. We are a testament to that.
8. Laughter. I love to laugh, and I am surrounded by folks who are able to get at least a chuckle out of me, if not a noise of hysteria.
9. Traveling grace. People out here be tryna kill. I have seen the end results of at least 5 accidents since I have been in LA. And I almost got into one myself yesterday. The fact that I was able to avoid it is amazing.
10. My life, in general. The fact that I am able to sit on this couch and type this is enough to give thanks. Also, there have been experiences I have seen others go through that I have not had to face. I appreciate that and the opportunity to learn from them instead of making the same mistakes.
Sometimes, it helps me to write down what I am thankful for because I forget on a daily basis. It's almost as if I get wrapped up in to everything I am doing and all the negatives present in my life that I forget the things God has blessed me with.
Quick FIRE: What are you thankful for?