Sunday, September 19, 2010

Re: Gone til November

As I write this, I am on my way up north. Musiq Soulchild's "Love" is playing in my mom's truck and I think that's ironic because it is the theme of this post.

After reading Derrick's post about our growth, I felt it only right to blog about it as well. I agree with Musiq when he sings, " Love, so many people use your name in vain." I have been one of those people in the past (to be more specific: in high school and my first year of college). I had that high school sweetheart that everyone thought I would be with forever. Not to knock that relationship down or anything but reflecting back on it now, it was puppy love. In the last nine months and twenty-three days, though, I have grown to know what love really is. And I'm grateful that God sent Derrick to be the one I learn and grow with.

A few months back, someone said being in a relationship is hard work. I disagreed wholeheartedly because Derrick and I's relationship seemed to be picture perfect. Fortunately, stuff got real at the crack of dawn. If you never have disagreements, you're probably not talking about the things that are bothering you. And in that case, I think you're playing yourself and your partner. You're supposed to check each other when things aren't as good as you'd hoped or wished.

That was what this morning's 3 a.m. conversation on my porch was about. Yes, we were talking on my porch in Compton, California at 3 in the morning. It was something necessary. For me it validated why I'm in this relationship. I only cry in moments that I feel safe. In those moments, vulnerability is not something to be afraid of. I cried this morning.

This summer, I've learned that I am willing to be vulnerable with this beautiful man that God has placed into my very chaotic life. The fact that I even care that I'm mad when we have a disagreement shows me a lot because most times, I could care less. I am in love. I am willing to put in work to make this last. After all, team work does make the dream work.

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